The Fourth Missionary

Yesterday, our mission president gave us all a talk titled, ¨The Fourth Missionary¨ by Elder Corbridge, and it has inspired me to change. I realized that much of my mission, I had been living as a third missionary, but not as a fourth missionary. Being a fourth missionary involves giving over to God our will. My dreams. My hopes. My desires. My will. I have to give my Heavenly Father everything. :)

Mom, I can´t come back home as the same person. My mission must change me forever, or I will have left in vain. The only way Heavenly Father can change me into as I should be is if i give up everything to Him. I won´t be the same. :) I want to be who Heavenly Father wants me to be. I can´t go back to living in the world. It just isn´t an option. My time here is so short. A year has already passed like a dream. i have to give my all. I´m ready to give my all.

When I left, I didn´t give my Heavenly Father everything. I had hidden parts within me holding me back. Things that have held me back all this time. At times, it made things so hard. Some days were unbearable. I´m ready to stop fighting. :) I am here to do the Lord´s will. Not for any other reason. Any other reason is selfish. Any other reason will not change me. Any other reason is for the pride that is within me. Why do we fight it so much? Why do we allow our pride to cause contention, to not love, to not progress? I´m so very tired of fighting agaisnt myself. Does that make sense? 

Heavenly Father has always blessed our family so very much. It´s astounding to me.